“Yep, he may be the new pope, but to his friends back in Chicago, he’ll always be ‘Bobby Bratwurst.’” — JIMMY FALLON
“From now on, the pope is going to sound like this. [imitating Chicago accent] Hey, dere, it’s yer buddy Leo, the deep dish papa. Just talked to God, and not even he can help da White Sox. Sorry. First order of business, I will be canonizing Michael Jordan. Now let’s end by saying daaa prayers.” — STEPHEN COLBERT
